Valentine’s Day jokes

An evening of Valentine’s Day. A man comes to a drug store: - Good evening! - Sorry, we are sold out... - Lisa, why are you so angry with me? - Because I’m Christine. A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.' A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, 'If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!' The wife replied, 'My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here.' Happy February 14th! - Does she have a boyfriend? - Yes, a cute, strong and clever one. - What’s the name? - John, Michael and Bill. Two friends talk: - Hi, what are you doing? - Not much, writing a Valentine’s Day greeting card. - Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed? - No, I just can’t let my right hand to see it. It’s a surprise for it. A wife tells her husband: - We never go out anywhere… - Great, tomorrow I will be going to through our the garbage, you may join me… A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: - What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine’s Day? - Well, I don’t know, – she answers shyly. - OK, that I give you another year to think about it… A friend of mine often tells to his wife: „It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved …“ A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series: - Look, how much he loves her… - Yes. But do you know how much he’s being paid for that? Daughter: - That’s it! I’ll mary Arthur! Mother: - But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker! ! ! Father: - But you have to start with something! Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine’s Day. A wife returns late at night back home. - Where have you been?! – asks her husband. - With a friend. But don’t worry, there were no men. One day later the husband returns back home late. - Don’t worry; I was also with a friend. And there were no men either… An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones Read more at http://www.funny-jokes-quotes.com/valentines-day-jokes.html#7XCsZzzBmhkPcCeW.99